Happiness

“S for two?” S and I stand up and smile expectantly. The hostess at Marco’s finishes gathering a couple menus and favours us with a tired smile. “Right this way.” We follow her to our table in the far section by the window. On our way, we pass an interesting-looking couple glowering into their menus, and I notice S noticing me noticing them. After we are seated, and undergo the ritual distribution of menus, we lean conspiratorially towards each other.

“What do you think is going on with those two?”

I glance furtively over at them, mostly to see if they see that we saw them. “I have a couple theories.”

S’s smile is electric. “Me too! You go first.”

“Well...” I offer a semaphore eyebrow indicating intrigue. “It’s possible that they simultaneously discovered each other’s infidelity by stumbling into a situation where they were both with their lovers. In the ensuing strife, while this couple was busily showing off their worst sides, the other lovers were each disgusted with the partner they were having their affair with. As this couple raged, they bantered back and forth with comparisons favouring their lover. In this manner, the hitherto unconnected lovers learned about each other, and developed a romantic interest. And left together. Leaving this couple alone together, and in the awkward position of being the only people that could possibly understand their pain. So, here they are, together and pained.”

S just stares at me for a moment. “Where the hell do you come up with this stuff?”

I just shrug. “There are certain aspects of my creativity that don’t get adequately vented by AIF.” Am I blushing? Yep; ears are warm. “So, what’s your theory?”

“Nothing as convoluted as all that. It looks to me like aftershock of foot-in-mouth. I bet he implied that she was unattractive to him, so she got upset and made him upset back.” S’s eyes are heavy-lidded with mock gravitas.

“That’s a little light on details.”

She leans back comfortably into her expertise. “Well, the actual details don’t really matter all that much. The process remains much the same regardless of the specific issues involved.”

“Well that sucks. You mean to say that Pissed Off Couple Scenario Gamma can be incurred both by a stray fat comment or by infidelity?”

“No, that’s going a bit too far. For one thing, infidelity isn’t a matter of foot-in-mouth.” I snicker at that. “But different issues could evoke the same process in different couples.”

“You’re using the word ‘process’ in a technical manner, aren’t you.”

“Umm, no. I’m just using it to describe a certain manner or progression of interaction.”

“Just checking. OK, so is there like a ranking of these processes in terms of severity?”

S scowls a bit. “I think there could be.” She appears lost in thought for a while.

“Dang – another doctoral thesis you could have used, eh?”

I’m rewarded with a smirk. “Maybe.”

“So... Would your theoretical relationship processes also include positive interactions as well as negative ones?”

“Definitely. As well as a bunch of neutral ones, too.” She does that cute raised-eyebrow thing too.

“So, it would be possible for two different couples to encounter the exact same issues, and for one couple to suffer a negative process while the other enjoys a positive process?” I mimic the raised-eyebrow thing.

“Sure.”

We are interrupted by the waitress coming to ask if we’re ready to order, and since we’ve hardly looked at the menus we ask for more time.

I look up from my menu and start to resume the conversation, “Y’know...” But S inserts herself in the pause.

“You were going to say that it’s oversimplified, weren’t you.”

I give a penitent look. “Yes.” Then I curl my brows. “Do I do that a lot?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah, I suppose I do. Anyway, I think we might be oversimplifying. Because...” I stick my tongue out at S because she’s pretending to look exasperated. “Because a process that might be negative for one couple might actually be positive for another. You know, like it broaches an important subject or initiates them working something out. There’s probably several processes going on simultaneously with most couples, and a nominally-negative process might actually help them initiate a massively positive process. Or the reverse, where a minor positive process cascades into a majorly negative process.”

S sighs. “You’re probably right. So much for my extra dissertation.”

“Sorry.”

“That’s OK. One is probably enough for now.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.”

She looks at me a little more keenly. “So, what processes do you think we’re experiencing right now? As a couple, I mean.”

This causes me to lean back. “Oooog. I dunno. I mean, there’s lots of stuff going on, but I’m not sure that I’m in any position to parse them out individually. They’re too intermingled from my perspective.”

She smiles defiantly at me. “Chicken.”

“Hey, foot-in-mouth is a malady I suffer enough from without looking for it, thankyouverymuch.”

“OK then, what do you think that they would see as being our processes?” S indicates the general direction of the aforementioned interesting couple with a tilt of her head.

I glance over at them, and contemplate it. I look back at S and say, “I think they would just think that we look happy.”

“Really? Why is that?”

“Well, everybody else looks happier than you when you’re unhappy, and they look pretty unhappy.” That earns me a level gaze from S. “But also we probably seem extremely engaged with each other, smiling a lot, and being generally attentive. Plus, I feel pretty happy, which I think tends to show.”

“Hmmm.” Now she’s smiling at me.

“Are you happy?”

She smiles more, and her eyes twinkle at me with an intent loveliness. Which makes me even happier.