Biography
AutoBiography, actually
In The Beginning...
On September 13th, 1972 the universe sprang into existence. At first it was small, and even after a few years still only included a small town called "Nelson". Gradually the universe expanded, as my perception created it, to include a province called "British Columbia" and a country called "Canada", then a planet called "Earth", and then a solar system, then stars, then galaxies, and so on.
As a child, I was quiet and polite, and spent most of my time entertaining myself. Public school started as a bittersweet adventure, as I discovered beginnings of the depth of my social ineptness and the height of my intellect. With two loving parents that both had to work, and a little sister that I've never understood, the trend of spending much of my time entertaining myself was continually reinforced.
In the first grade, there were signs suggesting that I wasn't like other kids - in a good way. Unfortunately, most of the rest of my public school career also clearly demonstrated that I wasn't like other kids - in a bad way. With a kind of cruel humour that the universe seems to so often express, these ways were generally related. Somewhere in junior high and high school I lost my quiet and politeness, perhaps in futile retaliation for being continually treated as an outcast. I learned that I could run almost as fast as I could shoot off my mouth, and I learned to always watch my back.
Then There Were Stooges...
Then, in the hateful social crucible of public school, Dave Littley and Lou Machado and I became comrades. We all discovered the transformative power of having real, true friends. It's also easy to see now how fine it was to be "late bloomers" when all the "early bloomers" were already declining, but at the time we were so surprised that we scarcely had a chance notice. We were too busy having fun, freed from the concerns about who we weren't.
Then I went to the University of Victoria, to study mechanical engineering. It was a tumultuous time, wherein I learned a great many things. I learned how to fall in love. I learned how to savour every moment, especially at Pagliacci's. I learned the thrills and comforts of self-reliance. I learned self respect. Unfortunately, I didn't really learn enough about how to weather the rigors of working towards an engineering degree. All of my schooling before university had been utterly effortless for me, and I was quite unequipped for the daunting workload. I struggled, and despite my talents managed to get myself kicked out of the engineering program. It's safe to say that I also learned a great deal about stress, and about being humbled. I learned that being a little crazy was OK...
...Or, at least that sometimes it has to be.
I survived for a while by selling my beloved MGB and by working at a tree farm picking pine cones, and toiled for a year to be readmitted into the engineering program. After getting back on track, I went on to have a successful university career that included some great work terms and some great design projects. Finally, in 1999 I graduated with a Bachelor of Engineering. There is no doubt that perseverance was far more important than intelligence or aptitude in that accomplishment. I now suspect that is true for a great many things.
The Downward Spiral Of Respectability...
Shortly after graduation, I landed a job as an engineer for Western Star Trucks in the resort town of Kelowna, British Columbia. Kelowna is a great town, with a lake, ski resort, mountain biking trails, and Dave and Bonnie right there. After just two years in paradise, Western Star was purchased by the Freightliner LLC sub-company of DaimlerChrysler. Subsequently, the company and many of its employees - including me - were moved down to Portland Oregon, in the United States.
My first year in Portland was possibly one of the saddest I've ever known. It's possible that it seemed that way due to the juxtaposition of my successful engineering career with the loneliness of my personal life. There was no major calamity, no overt flourish of melodrama. Just an ever-deepening gloom of lonely depression. In that darkness, I think that I may have finally come to terms with something about myself that I had been neglecting for years. My insecurities and I had a little chat, and while neither of us is giving up exactly, we seem to have found a means to a lasting truce, of sorts.
Settling Down
Near the end of 2002, I met S. Or, rather, she found me. Our first date was a dizzying marathon of mutual discovery, wherein we told each other more about ourselves than most people get to know over years. Shortly after that was the date where she gave me a battery of psychological and cognitive assessments, but that's to be expected from dating somebody working towards their doctorate in clinical psychology, right? After almost five wonderful years together, we got married in September 2007. In July 2009, we spawned. Then again in 2012.
Looking towards the future, it's really hard to tell where I'll end up. Judging from how much fun I'm having getting to wherever it is, I feel like I can afford to take my time. Somewhere along the way I mean to get my pilot's license, publish a book, and learn the five-point palm exploding heart technique. We'll see.
Need To Update This
Holy crap, a lot has changed. It's like a looking back at a previous incarnation.
I mean, seriously, look at that last paragraph. I sort of want to punch my previous man-child self.
Separation
-2018- S finds it too upsetting to continue the way we are, so we are separating. We have yet to determine how far that separation will have to be. I am broken, and found my long-lost insecurities are intact.
-2019- It becomes real. It hasn't killed me, but the broken-ness feels permanent.