2026.04.24 Van Graffiti

Somebody decided to deploy a black, wavy derping¹ stripe from a spray paint can onto our beloved and cheerful electric van. I spotted it as I walked out to go to work in the morning, after being to lame to ride my bike to work in the rain. My heart sank. I snapped a picture for proof, and trudged a mopey trudge back inside to tell Amy. And to ask her to start the soul-grinding police reporting and insurance chasing.

During the rest of the morning, not only did Amy talk with police and the City of Portland's graffiti remediation program as well as start the insurance process, she also did some research on what the physical next steps could be. In parallel, while I was working I pinged the array of car nerds at work who were known for detailing skillz².

I came home early. Being at the office is an energy suck normally, and obsessing over what to do with Velma was making it pointless to be there after my in-person meetings were done. A verification call to a local bodyshop confirmed what the internet and my nerd friends were telling us - we probably handle this ourselves with some light solvent and some elbow grease.

And so it was that Amy and I spent over two hours with mild solvent and soft towels meticulously removing spray paint from Velma's bodywork. Amy also spent some time with a razor to get the paint off the windows. The rear wheel and hubcap weren't as forthcoming (probably due to a lack of clearcoat protection); we'll need to re-attempt those with more aggressive tools.

Vexing, tiring, and many different kinds of irritating. But I am also pretty sure that whomever did it had a less good day than I did - standing shoulder-to-shoulder with my sweetie fixing a thing we care about and making memories.

¹ Playing on the term "racing stripe". Sorry.

² I'm Gen-X, and I'm told we use such termz semi-ironically. Sorryz.