2019.05.27 Chip Off The Old Snark
Simon finally emerges after sleeping in.
Me: "Hey there, Simon. Sorry buddy, I already ate your breakfast."
Simon, with a straight face: "No you didn't." No, I didn't.
Simon disappears into the dining room. "But there is an ant crawling on my breakfast; maybe it ate some."
Me: "Did you make it spit it out? [Simon impersonation]'Give it back, you little bastard!'[/impersonation]"
Simon: "I think it knows who its mother is."
Close enough. Touché, little buddy.