2016.10.15 Bike Thoughts

A very large portion of my brain's activity has been devoted to contemplation of mountain bikes and mountain biking. While this sounds frivolous, it is actually extremely functional and so useful as to border on necessary. This is for a simple reason:
I am my father's son.

My blood seethes with a need to run free. And while running itself flickers satisfactorily, what my Castle soul really craves is the glow of going much, much faster. This is expressed as a penchant for sports cars by both my father and I. But those are, perhaps, too foolish to push to their possible reaches of velocity-joy too often. My father taught me to better assuage the spiritual hunger for preternatural movement with skiing.

Ah, so many unforgettable days learning how fast we could be over all kinds of snow.
My clearest vision of my father will always be a smooth blur over a blanket of white.

But skiing kind of sucks in PDX - for me. It is not satisfactory.
Luckily, I have found mountain biking to be even better.
Honestly, the main reason that I like thinking about mountain bikes is because it is so conducive to thinking about mountain bikING. Also, I'm a nerd.

My 2012 Devinci Dixon has been excellent. But it is time to upgrade to faster geometry, more travel, and more modern tech. So, with no further ado - the prime candidates for my next bike, as I see it now.

Rocky Mountain Slayer

This is listed first for a reason - I think about it most. It ticks every single technical requirement - on paper, and every single silly preference. Technically, I'm looking for a nimble enduro-class bike. Bonus technical points for going boost hubs, having components that I think will work well. Actual technical qualification of "nimble" needs to be verified with a demo ride, though - I have a particular riding style (I call it Aggressively Mediocre mixed with Old Man Fast). Silly preferences include: being pretty, being Canadian.

According to the early reviews, I have high hopes for the technical qualifications. As for the silly preferences - it SLAYS them. Look at it - it's gorgeously clean and mean. And look at that big, fat maple leaf logo. Made in BC for fuck's sake. Hard to top this option, honestly.

Devinci Spartan

Until recently, this option would have been listed first. Hell, until recently, the Spartan might have been listed all by itself with very little consideration for anything else. I demo-rode one, and freaking loved it. Its Dave Weagle Split Pivot design suits my riding style to an incredible degree. Also sufficiently pretty, and pleasantly Canadian - though not my home province.

But... some of the tech a bit dated (no boost axles?). And I'm slightly annoyed that I would need to get the top-spec version in order to get the components that I want. That still leaves it in the running, budget-wise compared to the others, but removes it from slam-dunk classification.

Still have spontaneous stupid grins remembering that demo ride, though.

UPDATE: Rumours from the local bike shop (FTF) that there's a new version of the Spartan expected in the spring. This is somewhat contrasting the official devinci.com site, which has recently-updated specs (ostensibly for 2017) that are not that different.

Santa Cruz Nomad

This is the no-brainer option. It would qualify me for membership in the local Santa Cruz Mafia - otherwise known as my regular riding crew, who have a high proportion of Santa Cruz product. Indeed, Santa Cruz seems to have the vote of the majority of the riders at my favourite riding locations. And that's probably not accidental.

This might also qualify as the most budget-minded option, potentially. Not Canadian, though at least Left-Coast. So-so looks.

UPDATE: Also rumoured from local bike shop (FTF) to have a new Nomad in the spring. That might be awesome.

Trek Slash 29

This bike has a lot of hype, and includes an array of extremely interesting tech. Most notably, this is the only 29"-wheel option on my list, and the only one capable of 650b+ fat tires - if I felt like trying those out for shits and giggles. (UPDATE: It appears I imagined the 650b+ part. Ignore.) Also, the rear suspension geometry is essentially a tweaked version of the Split Pivot I know and love, so it probably will suit me right out of the box.

That being said, I'm not sure it'll be nimble enough for my tastes. The aggressive enduro geometry I'm looking for coupled with big wagon wheels might make it a bit of a handful through the tight technical bits. It's a bit pricey, too. Good-looking enough, but extremely not-Canadian.

Pivot Firebird

This is the Ferrari of the bunch. The ex-racer in my regular riding crew swears by his, and there's no denying that Pivot has everything exactly right.

Pricey. Prettier in person than in pictures. Not Canadian at all.

Kona Process

Late Addition! The Process is a totally legitimate performance bike for a good price. Perhaps gets some demerits for not having a carbon fiber option, but does manage to have the one internal routing I care about: dropper post. Many, many recommendations for this bike.

Looks good. Almost Canadian - Canadian founder, based in Washington. I think this is clearly a solid back-up plan in case I can't swing the budget for the flashier options.

Bikes NOT On This List

Specialized Enduro

"But it says "enduro" right in the name! And they're the dominant bike manufacturer!" Yes, they make good bikes. But it's ugly, and Specialized don't seem to suit my riding style. But mostly because it's so fugly.

YETI SB6

Switch Infiniti? [rolls eyes] Not for this engineer, fanks. Had fun riding one in New Mexico, but it exaggerated all my deficiencies and did not let me capitalize on any of my strengths. Perhaps if I were a better rider it wouldn't be so confidence-sapping. Perhaps if I didn't work on suspension components professionally I could overlook the folly of the Switch Infinity being abused in PDX mud. But nope.

Giant Trance

Look at it. It might have squeezed in some decent components, but it's geometry is previous-generation. Not quite aggressive enough, not quite enough travel. And ugly. I rode a Giant with this same style geometry a few years back, and flat-out hated it. It made me wish I had a Specialized instead, so that I could just feel uninspired instead of actually disconnected. Soooo not Canadian. Hell, it's not even North American. What mountains do they test on on Taiwan?

Norco Range 7

Uuuuuugh. Canadian, but so deeply a third-rate bike. Let's just not talk about this any more.

Evil ...anything

Because A) I'm not rad enough, and B) money money money.

Transition Patrol

Highly recommended bikes here. And aaaalmost Canadian (Bellingham Washington). BUT, the combination of price and ugly remove them from consideration. Update: The carbon version of this was just named "Bike of the Year - 2016" by PinkBike.com
Hmmm.

Ibis Mojo HD3

Another late addition! Lovely bike with impeccable handling and climbing, and with care can be kitted up with great parts without being too too expensive. Except that the upper edge of the shapely top tube presses unpleasantly into my knee as I contort myself through corners with features. I'm old and cranky and don't want to change, so this excellent bike is out of the running.