2016.01.29 Portland International Auto Show
Time again for another jaded and half-hearted voyage to the local dealer show. Considering my recent vehicle angst, I was feeling wary about attending. How right I was.
Let's categorize broadly by way of emotional reactions.
Eye Candy
Here we have the things that I love to look at. Just 'case. Their existence makes me happy, even though I might not particularly aspire to own any of these. Thus they require very little actual discussion.
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Fond Appreciation
Ford Focus RS
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This little blue bomb is one that I look forward to seeing somebody - anybody - start parking in the employee parking lot. It represents the exact right kind of foci¹ for what a younger version of myself would ideally have: driver-oriented, playful, all-conditions, functional, reasonably-priced. Hat tip to Ford for bringing summoning it into being.
Mazda Miata
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Sitting in this version, I can believe it is almost as light as the original. I have nothing but fantastic memories of Dad's Miata, and I feel like he would approve of this evolution.
Porsche 911 RWB
OK, I realize that this might not actually be from RWB, but it looks like it could have. This kind of modified 911 really does tickle my fancy, though not quite so much as a Singer-type resto-mod.
Subaru WRX Dirtfish
Yes, Dirtfish is not a car builder - they're a rally school in Washington. I want to go and play with them.
Thoughtful Pause
Chevrolet Corvette Z06
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This car looks mean. Sitting in it is like wrapping yourself in a clingy shroud of Not. Fucking. Around. I still remember getting a ride in a friend's C5 Z06 (modified with supercharging) and experiencing a Brown Alert™. I imagine that driving this car anywhere near its potential would feel like that continuously.
Nissan GTR
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It's still here, still kicking ass. Still looking unremarkable to casual observers. When I see this car I find myself willing the clever folks at Nissan the insight to make the next generation be more visually outspoken. I appreciate that the GTR is not garish, and is more about ability than aesthetic. And I personally am greatly amused by the idea of rolling around in an automotive Kaiju that can be mistaken for a 30-kilobuck car. It's just that I suspect the primary demographic of potential buyers are somewhat more interested in being recognized than this car gives them ability to summon.
No, cancel that thought. I hope they keep it mostly-stealth, and forget the potential poser buyers. Rock on, Gojira.
Mercedes AMG GTS
This was my first in-person viewing of this car. It's... nice? I don't know exactly how to express my reaction to it. It has the purposeful shape and flowing lines that you would hope for this type of beastie. It is gorgeous. But the overall effect feels somehow inhibited by a sense of being derivative. I can almost hear an array of German designers throw up the hands in exasperation and dismay. But I cannot shake the idea that they took the SLS - a very distinctive vehicle - and were pointed at a Porsche 911 and told "now make it compete with that". Et voilá.
I could not bring myself to show the picture of the abomination of a front license plate holder this example had. All the nope.
Volvo V60 wagon
Shut up, I like it. It's actually the car that I was trying to nudge S into getting. And it's the car I'd buy my mom, if such a possible need ever arise.
BMW 328d wagon
Maybe, one day, I'll get to have this... as my wife's car. It would be great for commuting, and road trips, and hauling stuff. And for allowing me to have something fairly impractical as my personal toy. All while still being fun to drive when I had to.
BMW M5
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It's a really great car. It had two crippling problems when I sat in it, though. First, I'm pretty convinced that it would never be able to compete with a Tesla Model S. Second, moments before I had sat in the M3 - and, well, that's in a different emotional category. Suffice it to say that being in the M5 felt a little vague and office-like.
Porsche Cayman S
Realistically, I have resigned myself to the needs of having to have 4 doors - even on my personal hypothetical toy. Still, if I do have a chance to sneak in a tiny corner-carving toy, this Cayman is an ideal candidate. I'd really really like to test-drive one, just for the joy of it.
Daaang
BMW M3
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The shape of the M3 is slightly more-right to my eye than the M4, that I scarcely looked at the coupé. Then I sat in it. The flood of right-ness was palpable. The cockpit of the M3 is exactly as I would want my personal 4-passenger monster to feel. Plus, being about 20-kilobucks south of my optimized Tesla spec adds greatly to the power of its unspoken argument.
Test drive absolutely required before any major toy decisions are finalized. Yup Yup Yup.
FUUUUUUUCK me
Porsche 911 Turbo S
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Look at that fucking thing. Sooooo pretty. So so so so pretty. It's, like, the colour of my soul.
Then sitting in it, and the pervasive sense of familiarity. SHIT.
SHIT. SHIT. SHIT.
It was all I could do to not descend entirely into reminiscence. It was like sitting in Richthofen again, except with the same thrilling feeling of the first time I drove him. Except know, fantastically, that this stupid fucking machine has nearly twice the horsepower. The power of the wanting it did horrible deforming things to the interior of my psyche as I imagined the supernatural ability conveyed by driving that machine. Not just to go fast, but to exist in a heightened state of performance not fathomable by most beings.
Dammit.
-Sigh-
Tesla Model S
Early in the event, I was amused by how there were more Tesla Model S's being shown as demonstration cars for various modification shops and such than any other single brand. It's still probably the best car for me.
Though part of me hopes that the upcoming Model 3 ends up being more direct competition for the BMW M3...
¹ Forgive the pun; I am weak.