2016.01.09 Ridiculously Pointless Car Thoughts

It is very obvious to anyone who has spent any time interacting with me that I have a considerable portion of my brain dedicated to vehicles - continuously. With that in mind, it might be surmised that a fair portion of them might be fairly far along the pointless end of the curve with some regularity. Because statistics!

[Blank stare.]

Yes, well, anyway, on with my blathering on about it anyway.

The situation is that my lease of the miraculous Mercedes B-Class Electric Drive is about over. Actually, I think that technically it was supposed to be over a couple days ago, but there seems to be some lag in the company lease team in HR. Which! As it happens, might be fortuitous. Because as the theoretical end of my lease term approached, I could see no suitable non-company-lease vehicle to inflict upon myself for similar budget. And so decided to reserve a new C-Class.

Unlike the previous iterations of Cheap With Cheapsauce, this would have to be somewhat-less-cheap. Sadly, the whole company lease deal thingie has become considerably less fantastic financially - but is still solidly in "good deal" territory. The other alternatives to the C-Class on the lease program (at the time) were the CLA and GLA, and I cannot bear to be in either of them. Meanwhile, the new C-Class has a surprisingly nice interior. It's being associated positively with the fantastic S-Class interior. And, well, as much as I love the B-Class overall, I could do with some pampering for a bit. My car ego is bruised.

But then, just this week, things got doubly complicated. First, I noticed that they once again have B-Class Electric Drives available on the list! "YES!" I think to myself. I might stay smugly planted in the future, and continue to savour the anger-soothing torque and responsiveness of electric drivetrain. Then, shortly thereafter, it was also announced that the inexpensive Mercedes Metris van would also be part of the lease program. Thinking about the renewed ease in hauling my mountain bike, and the option of road trips, makes this a very appealing prospect indeed.

Grinding my teeth, contemplating these three not-sports cars, I worry that I've become old. Because anything that is not fast is, by my own fervent definition, ridiculously pointless.

Yet here I am. Struggling with circular thoughts about:

• Pampering interior and vaguely stylish presence.
• Smug superiority and actually obedient throttle pedal.
• Fuck style and haul all my filthy stuff everywhere with ease.

You know, I should have said it was triply complicated. Because there is another complication: I'm once again in contention for a manager position, which would include an entirely separate company-supplied vehicle. So the lag in paperwork about the changeover of the lease might be in my benefit if I want to cancel entirely. But, that way lies madness. Plus, it might already be impossible to alter my selection.