2013.09.27 Richthofen-Shaped Hole

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So. Yeah. My 2002 Porsche Carrera 4S - Richthofen - is gone. And I am sad.

But the question becomes how to describe this, because it is not the simple sadness of missing something that you like. I am relieved that I am not lost in a mindless morass of a child uncomprehendingly bereft of a favourite toy. S was happy to know that my psyche did not collapse in upon itself for lack of mechanical reinforcement. It is embarrassing to say it, but it really is not a functional gap either - I just don't drive twisty roads very much these days.

There is a lot of sentimentality churning around in my head. Self-referential personal legends mingle with connections to my father have made Richthofen poignant. Yet, again, all of that is not really lost. Being fundamentally made of memories makes them less dependent on the physical presence of the Porsche.

The main thing that I experience is a profound aesthetic lacking. Richthofen was just so... beautiful. Beautiful both in simple shape, but also in terms of what that shape meant in respect to function. And I miss having that beauty be somewhat a reflection of me.

To compensate, I spend considerably increased time pondering sports cars. Which might be a bit annoying to S, but is not so bad an experience for me. So begins about five years of continuously scheming for another exotic sports car.