2012.04.22 "What's with the butler?"

"What's with the butler?"

I raise a spiny eyebrow, curious to see how the Orbodun responds.

One beady black eye on the large ursine winks knowingly at the questioning reptiloid. "Spiky here is very handy to have around, as his brutal sort typically is. But I have to admit that my favourite part is having him serve as my caddy." A genuine grin spreads across the Orbodun's face. I have to admit, it's very neatly done - his code of honour requires him to tell the truth, but does permit him to allow truths to be misleading."

"Very good, sir." My voice is a croak, and I don't bother repressing the tendons that briefly stand out. They're also an honest reaction, and add suitably to the show.

The reptiloid eyes us both suspiciously, then makes his face form a comradely smile. "Excellent! Let's head back to discuss the terms of the job." The reptiloid gestures a direction towards a semi-obscured seating area away from the bar proper.

The Orbodun gestures expansively. "Please, after you."

I tightbeam the Orbodun: "Mistake. He's not a threat behind me, and now I won't be able to see if he's subvocalizing."

"Shit. Sorry."

"No, it's fine - he was probably hoping you would do exactly that, and now he thinks things are going as planned."

"But that's bad, right?"

"Meh. It just means we should assume that they have a violent 'test' waiting for us. Brace yourself to snag the stun rifle I'll deploy to you on my cue, and try to follow my targeting designations."

"You know I can't assassinate with a stun weapon, right?"

"That's just part of the fun."

"You've got a sick-"

"HEADS UP!" I cut off his whining with a launched stun rifle precisely into his preferred stance, and he snaps it to bead exactly where my tactical overlay points out the first over-eager combatant goon to swarm out trying to use the guide as cover. It's a shock trooper, and probably useful in most fights. But not against two skilled combatants with good duck - we evade his multiple attacks while maintaining balance. The Orbodun responds by snapping an uncomfortable amount of stun energy into its left eyeball. I shift the designator to the rival assassin who just snuck out, hoping to remain unnoticed. Considering that the second being to come out was a terrifyingly large Vega Lizard, the assassin was probably making a pretty good bet about what would be occupying our attention.

"Back up." The Orbodun quick-steps back past me, and the Vega Lizard notices me for the first time. My species has a nasty hand-to-hand reputation, but I'm pretty sure that the Vega Lizard is only perturbed to think about how unpleasant it might be to swallow me whole if my spines and quills aren't plucked first. The shock trooper sprays some more blaster fire at us, but I suspect his aim is even worse than usual at the moment. The assassin acquires - on the Orbodun. The Vega Lizard closes the distance and tries to bat me out of the way; he's probably been told to focus on the Orbodun. I make a show of my parry, to make it seem like I had to go all-defensive to guide his unstoppable claws safely into a plasteel column.

The Orbodun is pretty good as a sniper, and delivers another vital hit of stunning blast energy - this time into the face of the assassin. Clearly, the aim of their assassin is ruined - nice. I reiterate the assassin as the target, and note that our erstwhile guide is moving through an adjoining section to flank us. I log it in our shared battlespace, but tag it as a tertiary concern for now. The shock trooper manages to land a hit on the Orbodun, but two other shots go wide. I can see the frustration in his scaly expression ease only slightly. The assassin stops pretending to hide, and focusses on making progress with an acquire. The Vega Lizard goes all-aggressive on me, probably to neutralize me by making me cower but also to draw the Orbodun's fire so the assassin can be freed up. This time I really do go all-defensive - I'm not interested in accidentally taking the kind of damage that monster can dish out. More plasteel splinters when I twist out of the sweep of his claws.

The sheer professionalism of the Orbodun shows as he keeps his breathing steady so that he can simultaneously acquire and aim, and pump another stun blast into the assassins vitals. One more of those and that sucker is going down, never having accomplished a single acquire. I designate the assassin as the appropriate target yet again. Clearly these guys are getting frustrated, because they all go all-aggressive this turn. The shock trooper lands three painful-looking hits on the Orbodun, who grunts unhappily with each impact. The Vega Lizard is determined not to miss me again, but I just can't bring myself to let him hit me - even though it might help establish the story of me being a secondary combatant. Whatever. The assassin, with all his dice dumped into the effort, manages to land a hit on the Orbodun too - but didn't divert any of the points to assassination, so it's not too bad.

Multiple auto-deploy patches crawl on the Orbodun, and he drops the dice-less assassin easily with another stun blast in the vitals. I wink mockingly at the Vega Lizard, mark him as the next target for the Orbodun, and then dance around him to crunch the shock trooper's pistol in his over-extended pose. The shock trooper swears, and pulls out a new weapon, and saves his dice realizing he probably can't hit anyone. The Vega Lizard roars as he turns to try to bite my head off - and I'm sure as shit not going to volunteer for that either: I duck it hard. The assassin snores.

"ENOUGH."

The Orbodun holds off shooting the Vega Lizard, and the arrayed reptiloid goons reign themselves in from their frustrated fury. The voice came from a diminutive Crocaloid, and he matches the description of the client we've come to meet.

With a rolling gait, the Orbodun heads over to me and shoves the stun rifle contemptuously into its robotic holster in my oversized satchel. "I assume you enjoyed the show."

"Yes. Very amusing. Though I had hoped to see your assassination skills at work. Why the stun weapon?"

"Whim. Stupid whim. And I think that if you run a medical scanner over these losers, you'll find that every one of those stun blasts would have been a killing shot. So it allowed me to show off four killshots with just three enemy combatants."

The crocaloid smiles. They're really good at smiling. Something to do with having lots and lots of teeth. "So, you didn't notice the fourth combatant?" He gestures at the guide who appears slyly.

With élan that I couldn't possibly summon myself, the Orbodun smiles back. "Oh, in a real fight, he would have shown up far too late to be counted. Besides, I was planning on letting the Massetin eat him."

It's funnier when you remember that Orboduns don't lie.