2009.07.24 Sidewinder

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There is the heirarchy of modes of travel that are well-known. The asymptotic pinnacle of which being the flying car. In the realm of reality, the highest form of travel for humans is vehicular (I'll resist, for now, the pecking order of vehicular travel). Without vehicles, humans enter the age-old realm of pure self-locomotion.

Ignoring swimming (which I can't do anyway), the top end of self-locomotion is running. Before you can run, there's walking. Before walking, there's crawling. And, before crawling, there's being carried by your parent - often initiated by crying.

Pretty typical, Right?

Simon has found an interstitial mode of transportation, instead of being carried and before he has sufficient motor control to crawl effectively: He can sidewind.

I discovered this ability this morning as I tried to escape from bed. Being the terrible parent I am, I accede to Simon's preference to be near somebody at all times and let him sleep beside me on the bed. Usually with care beforehand to make sure he won't be smothered with blankets or pillows or parents. But I awoke to find him snuggled up to my side. Realizing that I needed to crawl out of bed to go to work, I first moved him back to his little clearing on the bed. Without opening his eyes, he must have used his infrared heat-sensing organs to locate me, and wriggled back to his previous location with a sidewinding motion.

And then snuggled up, in a little sideways curl, and resumed his form of infant snoring. Obviously as a trap, to guilt me into staying still.

I did what any self-respecting alpha-male would do in that situation: I called my wife over to see and to beg for help, citing paralysis from Simon's cuteness-venom.