2008.01.30 2008 Portland International Auto Show
Clearly, I'm losing enthusiasm for these things. Life in the bosom of the great Western Satan has numbed me such that I can no longer fully appreciate the magical splendour of these wondrous conveyances.
Because what I mostly seem to find is that it's painfully obvious that this show is primarily just a collection of dealers showing off what they've got on their lots. With a couple of shiny distractions thrown in, and made sweeter by the participation of some exotic car dealerships, but overall pretty pedestrian.
Here's what I saw:
The meeting place was the Porsche Paddock, and the very first thing to catch my eye was the latest version of the Porsche Turbo. It was all shiny and menacing, as is fitting. The problem is that I know too much about what it's really like. Yeah, it can blow past my vintage 996 C4S with a whomping 160 horsepower advantage, but I also know that it puts that power to the ground in pretty much the same way my all-wheel-drive Porsche does. And, from experience, there aren't a lot of situations where even my 320 horsepower can be fully unleashed. Most roads aren't smooth enough, clean enough, or (this being Portland Oregon) dry enough to use full throttle below third gear other than with considerable care. So as I eyed the Turbo, I could still appreciate its great beauty and engineering accomplishment, but my lust clung doggedly to my own car.
An even shinier bauble was the nearby Porsche Boxster S in limited edition colours and trim. It's cute, and I love the outrageous colour - I think it's the same as on the GT3-RSR race special. Which, sadly, mostly just made me wish that there was a genuine GT3-RSR racing monster there for me to gaze lovingly upon, instead of this toy racer.
Perched defiantly next to the Porsche Paddock was the Audi Arena (which isn't as confrontational as it might seem - they're the same dealership in Beaverton), and standing opposed to the mighty Turbo was the awesome Audi R8. This car looks better to me every time I see it. Now that I feel like I have gained membership in the exotic sports car owners club, I felt vaguely disappointed that I couldn't sit in it for comparison. I was so pleased with this display of the R8 that I took the full-size version of this first image to be the wallpaper on my CAD machine at work.
Returning briefly to the Porsche Paddock, there was an interesting point of comparison - a current model Carrera C4S. And it was open to the public. Seeing all the little kids standing on the leather and kicking the instruments, I felt a twinge of understanding about the R8 not being unlocked. And, of course, I needed to try it on myself. I've sat in this generation of 911 before - at last year's PIAS - but I've since become accustomed to the interior on my 996-generation. The interior of the 996 is notorious for developing various minor rattles, and the new interior of the 997's is supposed to have resolved this. I have no idea if this is really true, but I do know that I much prefer the black-on-black interior of my car to the garishly multi-tone interior of the show car. Another much-touted styling improvement is the re-adoption of round headlights instead of the 996's divergent seam-seeking light shrouds.
My official stance is, "Meh."
From there, we trolled around. There were more German cars, but nothing I really cared about. And I cared even less about the vast majority of vehicles at the show, to be honest. There's an awful lot of boring wheeled cages that dealers are flogging. Maybe they know it, and so tried to break up the doldrums by tossing in a few eye-catching concept vehicles.
Like the Ford "Reflex". It's pretty concept-y, I guess. Though there's nothing about it that I find particularly striking or commendable. There are styling cues that look reminiscent of recent Ford aesthetic direction, but overall it's uninspiring.
The Ford "Sync". Oh please. Look, you're Ford. You can't pull off cute or funky; you just can't. And all this exercise accomplished was to point that fault out in no uncertain terms. Grit your teeth and stick to whatever magical confluence allowed you to create something as great as the GT, and give up on cramming your hippo-shaped karma into a tutu.
The Chrysler "Firepower". This is actually very pleasantly swoopy, and had many attractive lines and angles. A gorgeous styling exercise. If it were done by anybody with any actual possibility of engineering a car that might drive as well as this looks, I'd be interested. Sadly, Chrysler, like most American auto makers, is only really any good at stuffing in big engines into cars that go in a straight line. Here's a hint, ex-coworkers, hire Lotus to help you out with the chassis. And ignore what the Mercedes guys told you.
The Chevrolet... something. I forget. This is quite a pretty car, and I like the idea of a stylish two-door cruiser with plenty of room inside for two rows of seats. The continental US is a long-distance freeway sort of place, and this could be a fabulous way to dash around it. Just stay the hell away from the cities, or any place where you might have to make tight maneuvers.
Ostensibly, one of our major reasons for visiting the car show was to spend some time looking for the wife's next car. This segment really wasn't photo-worthy. Really really not photo-worthy. She's interested in things like fuel mileage, and ease of accessibility, and wants the car to not look too flashy.
Anathema.
One amusing element was a gaff that I made. The wife has long shown a strong inclination towards Subaru wagons, but also once-upon-a-time had longings for a Saab. So, this naturally made me think about the recent Saab that is essentially a re-badged Subaru WRX with Saabified trim. After looking at both, it's easy to see which is the original concept, and which is the cobbled-together bastard.
As a segue, I couldn't help but snap a shot of a Nissan 350Z with the most garish Nismo package available - to taunt Ken Chow with. I tried to talk the poor bastard into getting a Lotus Elise, but he found out that he just doesn't fit through the door. Who does? So Ken is probably going to be getting himself a 350Z, though probably without quite so much obvious pimpitude.
Yes, yes. Of course I went and paid homage to the exotics. Pity about the obtrusive barriers that were impossible to avoid getting in the way of some of the images.
My favourite, as usual, the current Ferrari berlinetta - an F430:
Not far behind, though, was a marvelously evil-looking Ferrari 599 Fiorano:
Down a ways was a Lamborghini Gallardo Superlegga:
Plus the even-more-serious Lamborghini Murcielago:
What was really quite funny, though, is that there was one car that was attracting crowds more than any other. Right across from the Lambo Lounge was a single Smart ForTwo, and it had a constant crowd vying for looks and a chance to sit inside. People were chatting excitedly about it, and it was even harder to resist bragging about how my dad has one of these than it was to avoid smugly mentioning that I have a Porsche.
A really remarkable machine was this off-road creation. Doesn't it just make you want to find some rubble to drive over?
One major regret I have is that I didn't manage to get a picture of my favourite car of the whole show. It was an early 80's BMW 320i modified with E36 M3 running gear and trim, and with what looked like the V8 from an M5 stuffed under the hood. It sounds like a Frankenstein Monster, but it was so well done that the whole car look unbelievably coordinated and Right™. Pity.
Next year I hope to be less unaffected. If there isn't a fun car story to tell, maybe I should rip into all the cars that I hate instead of trying to ignore them?