2003.05.24 Origin Of My Snide
A good friend of mine recently rebuked one of my normal casual snide comments by asserting that I had no reason for picking on him.
I was utterly flabbergasted. Well, OK, not quite "flabbergasted" per-se... and it wasn't very "utter" either. Actually it mostly just caused me to pick on him some more, but it did start me conteplating my particular penchant for snideness.
After some reflection, it occurs to me that there is a powerful confluence of factors that all contribute to my seemingly-malicious habits of communication. For your entertainment, and my conceit, here's an incomplete explanation.
In the beginning...
Believe it or not, I was actually a very quiet and polite little boy. My shyness, introversion, and easily-amused nature kept me happy and pleasant most of the time. Growing up in the peaceful hippy-town of Nelson B.C., I was largely left alone in bucolic bliss. Unfortunately, this was shattered by a move to neighbouring Castlegar. There, the temperament of both the children and teachers was distinctly hostile.
Genesis
First you must realize that I was not just awkward, I was skinny and weak. Though athletic, it was mostly confined to activities such as running away - which I ended up using quite often. Not just physically inferior to virtually all of my peers, so too were my social skills lacking. Introversion was fine when I was just left alone, but when forced to interact I bumbled and earned the contempt of others. There was only one thing at my disposal that I could bring to bear: I was considerably more intelligent than most people. This meant that I could quickly flay with cruel barbs of jokes and insights about my peers when I so chose. School had become a jungle, and malicious wit was my defensive weapon.
Development
Of course, I was not alone in my ability for intellectual malevolence. Amusingly, some of the others with similar traits became sort of friends with me. Upon reflection, it's a great disservice to the term "friend". It was more of an armistice, and we would hone our weapons on each other. During this, I became a bit calloused. Impolite jokes, insightful barbs, and derogatory jeers became things to appreciate the cleverness of rather than things to be distressed about.
Maturation
While it can be argued that I have not been afflicted with much maturity so far in my life, I think it would be fair to say that I've reached a relative stasis where things change only slowly now. Part of this is the core group of close friends I've found. While my sarcastic nature keeps me from having very many friends, it generally does mean that the people who do choose to become my friends have satisfyingly strong personalities. I think that I've also started a fundamental trend of reactive maliciousness, where only those that have trespassed in some way need to worry about my comments. I'd also claim that the whole concept has helped me to be able to laugh at myself as well, and that's just amazingly useful in this life.
Other Handy Uses
One of the difficulties with being an introvert is that many interactions become annoying. By being blunt I can mange to keep some conversations efficiently brief, but many blithely press on my nerves with irritating interaction. With a few deft strokes of my razor-keen tongue, I can generally sever conversations that begin entangling me. Also, to be perfectly honest, some people or situations have no redeeming value other than what humour can be distilled from them.
Dénouement
I have been asked on several occasions what the best defense is against my type of lingual viciousness. Unfortunately, I do not have a good answer for this. If it is meant to refer to general snideness, then all I can do is shrug and say honestly that I typically respond to snideness with calmly superior force. If it is meant to refer only to myself, then it's simple. Just smile at me, and perhaps tell me it was mean. My vanity will cause me to smile back at my own artistry, and I'll be forced to respect your insight and strength of will.