1: The Separation & Divorce
Ugh.
This fucking chapter is too incredibly horrible to birth yet. It really is like ripping my heart out through my ass.
AWKWARD PAUSE
OK, I might as well start by laying out the four phases of this.
Before the Separation
Before the separation, there were years of trying to wrangle the pain and suffering S felt about our relationship. The (outwardly) cyclical nature of her doubts and feelings of disconnection started to have a much stronger amplitude. This span of time was marked for me as a growing recognition that it was not really about me, but still trying desperately to find some way to help the situation. It was also in this time frame that we started couples counselling.
The couples counselling was initiated after S admitted that she had started contemplating divorce. Which was hard to take entirely seriously, as S is a creature made one trillion percent out of hyperbole. The reason for the hyperbole is perhaps a key to her inner struggles, but that's not relevant just yet. We went to a fabulous couples therapist, and proceeded to do some incredibly important work demystifying several unspoken aspects of our relationship.
Separating In Theory
THUD.
Deciding On Divorce
Ooof.
Deciding On Breaking Up The Home
Ugh.