2020.03.02 Too Many Fucks Given

Basically, I am still struggling with how to process the notion that I will never get a leadership position in engineering at DAIMLER. My internal drives motivating me to excel have long included management ambition in engineering. While I know that logically I should find a way to leverage this as a form of freedom, and re-kindle some of my long-neglected interests. But it still squats on my soul as sense of hopeless frustration.

Perhaps it would be easier to hold if the managers in engineering were more, on the whole, obviously better at managing. Such that I could see how I do not measure up. But it's not like that. At all.