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	As [[2016.01.09 Ridiculously Pointless Car Thoughts\|mentioned previously]], there seemed to be some variety of option for my next employee leased Mercedes. I was mistaken.		As [[2016.01.09 Ridiculously Pointless Car Thoughts\|mentioned previously]], there seemed to be some variety of option for my next employee leased Mercedes. I was mistaken.

RooK at 05:15, 29 March 2018

2018-03-29T05:15:50Z

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RooK: Protected "2016.01.17 Third Choice" ([Edit=Allow only administrators] (indefinite) [Move=Allow only administrators] (indefinite))

2016-01-18T00:34:26Z

Protected "2016.01.17 Third Choice" ([Edit=Allow only administrators] (indefinite) [Move=Allow only administrators] (indefinite))

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[[category:2016 Rant]]
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As [[2016.01.09 Ridiculously Pointless Car Thoughts|mentioned previously]], there seemed to be some variety of option for my next employee leased Mercedes. I was mistaken.

HR Department responsible for employee leasing: "Hello, Unicorns and Rainbows department."

Me: "Hello, my employee lease term is expiring. I had reserved a C-Class before the holidays, but since there hasn't been any paperwork I was wondering if it might be possible to alter my request to get a Metris van?"

HR: "Well, no. Sorry about the delayed paperwork, but your car is already here. And, actually, would it be OK if you came over to do the paperwork today?"

Me: "Don't I also have to go to the DMV?"

HR: "Yes!"

So, yeah, 2016 C300.

While I would technically prefer to have a tiny ugly electric car or a giant ugly minivan, the C300 is a pretty great car. So much so that it was technically pulled from the employee lease program because it was in too much demand from the dealers. Also, it was determined to be the best safety value by some of the smartest people I know: Tanya and Mark¹.

Also great about the car is the interior. It's been called a mini S-Class, because of the quality of the interior. And it is indeed embarrassingly comfortable inside. Not only does it have both bells and whistles, but the bells have whistles.

It also boasts 180 kW (241 hp) and 370 N-m (273 lb-ft) while also managing 25/34 mpg. So it should be pretty good to drive.

This is where I pause, eyes closed, and try to maintain objectivity. Because it is ridiculous to complain about this car in any way. It's nice, really nice. It's nice to be in, and it drives nice. It is, objectively, a very very nice car.

But I grow weary of making excuses for vehicles that faceplant in the Stupid Grin Driving Glee Factor². There is sufficient power, but it comes too late to be of tactical use due to the failings of automatic transmissions. Perhaps that could be accommodated by using a "manual mode", but the damn thing won't stay in manual mode. I've programmed a custom mode that might not do that, but haven't had a chance to give it a proper try yet. Philosophically, it does not bode well when a car needs to be compensated for so fundamentally. Similarly, the steering can be adjusted to be sharp and responsive, but stays sadly numb. The car is resplendent in lightweight design, but still actually heavy and feels not entirely unlike a boat.

I did manage to find out how to disable the stability/traction control, but it is massively less accessible than before. It is unlikely that I will be able to access it spontaneously, buried as it is in several levels of menus. Mutter mutter.

Finally, it is without GPS. Apparently the shift from mediocre bespoke system to shitty 3rd-party system has moved on to just not bothering with a baseline navigation system. Technically no great loss, but still manages to annoy me.

So, first impressions are mixed. We have a year or 8000 miles to refine opinions.

 

 

 

¹ Tanya and Mark are not only both geniuses, who run their own business being freelance technical-experts for hire, they are also lovely.

² If you need to have Stupid Grin Driving Glee Factor explained, you undoubtedly find much of what I write extremely confusing and are probably on the wrong blog.

2016.01.17 Third Choice - Revision history

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