2:07 NSG - friendzone Part 1 - Revision history

RooK at 17:32, 11 September 2023

2023-09-11T17:32:58Z

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	A mere 2 days after the [[2:04 NSG - Fucktard\|Fucktard]] event, NSG surprised me with an "OK, I'm recovered now. Let's be friends."		A mere 2 days after the [[2:04 NSG - Fucktard\|Fucktard]] event, NSG surprised me with an "OK, I'm recovered now. Let's be friends."

RooK at 16:13, 27 October 2019

2019-10-27T16:13:53Z

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	Because this cannot be stated enough: NSG was always right. She was also often wrong, but the way she negotiated the conundrums of not-being-right-yet was done by virtue of a rock-solid philosophical method of being open to truth. What was frequently remarkable to me was that even when I was mostly-right, and she was mostly-wrong, she always held a crucial piece of truth that had evaded me in my egotistical self-assurance - such that she ended up being able to make progress in ways that I could not.		Because this cannot be stated enough: NSG was always right. She was also often wrong, but the way she negotiated the conundrums of not-being-right-yet was done by virtue of a rock-solid philosophical method of being open to truth. What was frequently remarkable to me was that even when I was mostly-right, and she was mostly-wrong, she always held a crucial piece of truth that had evaded me in my egotistical self-assurance - such that she ended up being able to make progress in ways that I could not.

	Much effort was given to trying to have actions that showed my support and alignment, to go beyond the mere words I had offered so far. I discovered how much she really wanted someone to take care of her ("dad energy" as she called it), coupled with how very difficult it is for her to accept such care. I was also continuing to be transparent about how I felt, but also clear that I was ~~demanding~~ nothing.		Much effort was given to trying to have actions that showed my support and alignment, to go beyond the mere words I had offered so far. I discovered how much she really wanted someone to take care of her ("dad energy" as she called it), coupled with how very difficult it is for her to accept such care. I was also continuing to be transparent about how I felt, but also clear that I was expecting nothing.

	Behind her defenses, I thought I could feel her aligning her own considerations in my direction again. Pessimism warned that it was projection, but still seeds of hope started to sprout in my heart again. This became the no-solution [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kobayashi_Maru Kobayashi Maru] of my summer. In order for NSG to choose me, I had to believe in myself and stay true to my heart's desire to be with her. But she also pointed out, correctly, that there was not enough room for her in my life (yet) - and admitting that ~~meant not~~ believing in ~~myself~~.		Behind her defenses, I thought I could feel her aligning her own considerations in my direction again. Pessimism warned that it was projection, but still seeds of hope started to sprout in my heart again. This became the no-solution [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kobayashi_Maru Kobayashi Maru] of my summer. In order for NSG to choose me, I had to believe in myself and stay true to my heart's desire to be with her. But she also pointed out, correctly, that there was not enough room for her in my life (yet) - and admitting that felt very contrary to believing in having hope.

	Plus, reality has a way of showing us what we want, and denying us from having it. NSG said that reality is like a vending machine of experiences that merely require us to know how to ask for what we want. It feels like perhaps we live in somewhat different realities. Mine is a test of character; hers is a test of resourcefulness and patience. I wish I was in hers.		Plus, reality has a way of showing us what we want, and denying us from having it. NSG said that reality is like a vending machine of experiences that merely require us to know how to ask for what we want. It feels like perhaps we live in somewhat different realities. Mine is a test of character; hers is a test of resourcefulness and patience. I wish I was in hers.
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RooK at 05:24, 27 October 2019

2019-10-27T05:24:25Z

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RooK: RooK moved page 2:7 NSG - friendzone Part 1 to 2:07 NSG - friendzone Part 1

2019-09-09T11:52:23Z

RooK moved page 2:7 NSG - friendzone Part 1 to 2:07 NSG - friendzone Part 1

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RooK: Created page with "category:divorce "

2019-09-09T11:49:07Z

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