2013.11.05 "You sure don't look evil."
"You sure don't look evil."
The fluffy Orbodun tilts his head in a disarming sort of way. Perhaps he knows how cutesy it is and is playing it ironically, or maybe it's just his inner teddy bear shining through. His patience leaks out through his nose in a long exhale as he studies the Trolian that just addressed him. "What does evil look like?"
The Trolian's eyestalks spread with his species expression meaning 'taking a good look'. "Well, it sure as zark isn't a half-tonne fuzzy thing preening its belly button."
"You think personal grooming is evil?"
"Let's just say that it doesn't really radiate an aura of a supposed badass who could kill me immediately."
The Orbodun blinks carefully. "Supposed?"
A faux-conspiratorial air is assumed by the Trolian. "Yeah. It seems that if I can take you down, it will impress several people."
"And these people you may wish to impress, they suggested this path to impressing them?"
A grin. "They did."
"And you're sure that they suggested it so that you could impress them, or do you think that maybe they were looking for an entertaining way to get rid of you?" The Orbodun's small, black eyes don't exactly twinkle - not in this light - but they are not impassive.
A shrug. "Oh, probably both. I'm just trying to gauge how hard to impress they might be."
The Orbodun reaches for his ale-filled stein in a deliberate manner. "Do you know what is going to happen next?" He starts gulping while watching the purple-skinned stalk-eyed being out of the corner of his eye.
The Trolian is tense. Ready. Proabably eager. "Tell me. I know you can't lie."
A truly terrible grin splits the Orbodun's muzzle. "Do you think that not being able to lie is the same as not being able to mislead?" He sets his stein back on the bar with a heavy thud, and leans back on his stool in a manner that might almost look relaxed. I'm pretty sure he's enjoying himself.
"Whatever. Are you going to show me how evil you are?"
Suddenly the disarming teddy bear is back. "Oh! An actual question! Finally. The answer is: probably, yes."
Somewhat confused, the Trolian pulls out his blaster in a provocative manner. "OK then. Let's do this!"
"Yes. Let's. First: some disambiguation. While I will probably show you how evil I am, it is more in terms of the general meaning of the term. And not merely, as you seem to be using it, to describe combat effectiveness."
"Indeed. You correctly assume that I could probably take you down in one aggressive assassination attack after aiming at you, but are hoping that your likely-vaulted duck capabilities might prevent me actually achieving an assassination. Regardless, your significant supply of autonomous patches mean that you almost wouldn't die right away. The theory being that I would be willing to actually attack you aggressively, because I probably cannot know about your own sniper ally who has been acquiring on me as well this whole time - and would drop me immediately after hostilities started."
The Trolian gives away a slight tic as he checks on his hidden partner.
"But!" The Orbodun is feeling dramatic. "It turns out that I have a very stealthy partner of my own."
I resist bowing, and giving away my position.
"And according to your definition of evil... well. He's really quite bad indeed." The Orbodun nods, and I sink my talons into the Felinid sniper's eye sockets and pull his head off.
"Zark indeed. What is interesting, though, is that I got him to tamper the main doors to this establishment closed and locked. So that when we ask you to point out each and every person you were hoping to impress, they won't be able to get away."
The Trolian's stalk-mounted eyes boggle. I am kind of scary-looking.
The Orbodun leans forward and whispers, even though his words are undoubtedly being augmented and bounced throughout the bar as data. "The unspoken question is: what will happen then? Do you think that maybe we're going to kill. all. of. them?"
I think my partner can look sufficiently evil.